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Connection & Trauma with Jakko
Episode Title: Connection & Trauma: Rewiring How We Relate to Others and Ourselves
Episode Summary: In this powerful episode, Suze is joined by her husband, Jakko, for an honest and deeply insightful conversation about connection—what it truly means, how trauma distorts it, and how we can rewire our nervous systems to experience safe and fulfilling relationships.
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that connection means obligation, caretaking, or even bracing for conflict. But true connection starts within. Suze and Jakko explore how childhood experiences shape our adult relationships, why many professionals (especially therapists and coaches) struggle with emotional exhaustion, and how co-regulation plays a critical role in healing.
If you’ve ever felt drained in your relationships or responsible for maintaining connection with others, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why our earliest experiences with connection shape how we relate to others as adults
- The impact of childhood messages like “Look at me when I speak to you!” on our nervous system
- How unresolved trauma influences our ability to connect safely
- The difference between connection and safe connection
- Why therapists, coaches, and health professionals often struggle with emotional exhaustion
- The role of co-regulation and how to do it without absorbing others’ emotions
- How to create space in relationships rather than forcing connection
- Practical steps to rewire your nervous system for healthy relationships
Key Quotes from the Episode: ✨ “We were never taught to ‘look at me when I love you’—only to ‘look at me when I’m angry.’ This wires our nervous system for stress, not safety.”
✨ “True co-regulation isn’t about syncing with another person’s emotions—it’s about syncing with something GREATER, whether that’s God, nature, or your own center.”
✨ “Trauma started in connection. It makes sense that it will resurface in connection too.”
✨ “The real work isn’t just fixing our patterns—it’s learning what safe connection actually feels like.”
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